Friday, August 22, 2008

11 years ago...

Well, it is hard for me to believe but it has been 11 years since my sister passed away. It seems like so long ago to me. I can't believe how much has happened since then. I was 15 and she was 16. We were best friends. We had all the same friends, interests, we spent our spare time together. I was getting ready to start High School (10th grade). It was a great time in my life. I was so happy. She got sick one day and never got better. I remember that day so clearly, I don't think I will ever forget it. My brother and I were working together as lifeguards and had been to a meeting that morning. We went straight to the hospital after. She was in a medically induced coma for comfort and had been for a few days. The doctors were working on her. It wasn't looking good. We waited all day long. In the early evening hours the doctors were on their last resort surgery. By this time there were several of our family and close friends there. We filled the waiting room and spilled over into the hall. My uncle offered to buy us all (my siblings) dinner so we went to the cafeteria and felt a little light hearted and hopeful. As soon as we had gotten our food someone came and got us. When we got up stairs my parents were in a seperate room with just an intimate few people. The doctor came in and told us that they had tried everything and she didn't make it. The room closed in around me. I was heartbroken. How could this be? She was so young. She still had so much to do. I still needed her so much. How could I lose my best friend. All I could hear was sorrow and pain. In that little room we all ached together. That is an experience that you never forget.

The next year was the longest year of my life. I started high school 3 days later. I just went through school in a daze. I didn't make many friends. I didn't want to make many friends. I had a few very good, close friends who had been through this with me. How could anyone else understand. I cried a lot. I spent a lot time in my room alone. I didn't talk much. I didn't have much to say.

Since then I have missed her so much. I have done so much that I would have wanted her to share with me. I had my first boyfriend, my first kiss. I graduated from high school. I went to college. I dated a lot. I got into nursing school and then graduated. I met and married the most incredible man I know. I have been happily married for 5 years now. I have a beautiful son that makes me so happy. I have grown and changed and learned so much. I wish I could share my life with her. I wish I could call her up on the phone and just talk to her. I wish we could raise our children together. I wish for time and memories that we missed out on.

I am surprised sometimes how much I am still affected by it. Time does help but the pain never really goes away. It seems that every year, August is a hard month for me and I can never figure out why until it gets to be the 22nd and I realize how sad I am.

There is a moral to the story. Cherish the time you have. Love the people you love and let them know, often. You never know how much time you will have together and there is nothing worse then not getting the chance to say something you wish you could have said. Life is hard sometimes I know. It is also really good sometimes. If you can remember the good things and forget the bad things, you will be happier. Enjoy the little things. The precious hugs and kisses from your little ones. The times when the person you want to share the rest of you life with looks you in the eyes and tells you how much they love you. The funny things that happen. The lessons you learn. The challenging times that make you stronger and better. Remember that we don't get to choose when our time is up. We just have to make the best of the time that we have.

As for me, I LOVE my life. I have the worlds best husband. I can't imagine what I would do without him. He is so loving and understanding. He truly wants me to be happy and he works hard at making that a reality. I have a the cutest little boy in the whole world. Yes, I am totally biased but it's true. He is such a good boy. He makes me laugh so hard. He is so smart and so sweet. He loves me and loves his daddy and loves to get hugs and kisses. He is so sweet and innocent. I am so lucky to have this perfect little family. I have the best parents ever. My brothers and sisters are great, we are close and we love to get together. I have the best in-laws ever. I think all the time about how blessed I am to have been given such a great family and then I married into an equally great family. I have wonderful friends. I love them all so much. Most of all I have the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know that He loves me and watches over me. I know that because of Him I can see my sister and all of the people that I love again. I know that this life is hard but there is peace and comfort through Him, and a path to eternal happiness.

18 comments:

ahollandetc said...

maria...the honesty and beauty of this post truly touched my heart. i admire your courage and grace through life's journey. thank you for sharing your heart so openly!

Wanna be farm girl said...

I'm so sorry.......that pain is unimaginable, but your sister must have been an incredibly wonderful person with a unique mission only she could fill for Heavenly Father, and it's probably her that is watching over your babies, keeping them safe and sound until they are in your arms! She loves you and is so very near and you do have an amazingly witty husband and an adorable boy!! Don't forget to call on us, if he needs a playmate or you need to run an errand...

We think you are wonderful!

Jared and Reini said...

Maria,
Thanks for your post. I imagine it was difficult to write, but you helped me understand the tender emotions you still feel. I admire your strength and optimistic personality. Your family is truly blessed to have you as a daughter and sister. You are an extraordinary person. Thank you.

Aly Goalen said...

I love you Mia. I'm actually a little speechless. I thought of you on Friday. As I always do each year on Amber's birthday and in August. What an amazing girl she was. I think of her amazing strength and example a lot. I actually cherish those high school memories with you...you were almost like a sister to me after all of that. I love you so much.

Erica said...

I'm so sorry about your sister. What a hard time. Let me know if you need to get out of your house- I'm always around! P.S. LOVED your shoes yesterday!

Erica said...

I'm so sorry about your sister. What a hard time. Let me know if you need to get out of your house- I'm always around! P.S. LOVED your shoes yesterday!

Erika said...

I can't even imagine..Michael often tells me how sad/hard it was and how her funeral went and that he sang at it. It's so wonderful to know that we have the gospel and that one day you will be reunited and be able to share things together again.

Kelli said...

I love and admire you so much Maria! I'm so glad you are part of our family. Marrying you, was the best choice my brother ever made.

"Jo" in many sizes said...

MIA! How strange, I came across your blog, and with this post of all things. I did a little snooping on a friends of a friend of a friend, and there was your name. Your little boy is so cute!
I can't believe it has been 11 years. I remember it like it was yesterday. I will never forget the heartache, sadness and tears, though I'm sure it is nothing compaired to your own. Amber was so special, not your typical, rude teenager, as I was. Always lending a hand, an ear, or helping someone she thought was in need of a friend. I think of her all of the time, and of course you and your family. Love you always, Kacy.

Juli said...

Your post made me cry. Your family is amazing and I am so glad to be apart of it. It has been fun spending so much time with you.

aShLie JaNe said...

I love you Maria. And I was thinking about you on that day. We all love her.

a.t.a said...

Hi maria,

What a beautiful post, written very well! I have a sister & it is just the two of us & I can't even imagine. You seem like a very strong person... I will never take a day for granted again, thank you!

Ps. I like your new do... It looks lovely on you!

Jenny said...

I am crying. I totally agree with you. Brian just lost his father. You really don't expect it. I know I have done a lot of thinking this past month about life. Life is way too short to not enjoy the small moments in life! You are a trooper!

Brittany said...

Ok Mia, I'm totally balling right now! I still think of her alot too, about the incredible example she was. It's amazing how much you two are alike that way.
Love ya always!

Cheerfully Charmed said...

I finally found you! Your post is so sweet. I'm sorry to hear about your sister, but you are so strong and I truly admire you! Keep in touch!

Braden Bell said...

Maria,

Sorry to stalk your blog, but I don't have an email for Nate. Can you tell him to go to Elisa's blog? She wrote a nice post about him and me that he might want to read. He can get to her blog from my blog page.

Thanks!
Braden

malmfamily said...

Maria Sue Kennard Peck, you truly are one amazingly strong woman and I love you so incredibly much! Thank you for sharing. The Gospel makes everything bearable and understandable. I love you.
-mary-

Unknown said...

Maria, I remember this. We were all having a grand time at Jamie Walker's birthday party when the news hit. That's when I knew I had great friend as we all prayed for comfort for us and your family.